i wish i was good with words so i could do a better job at expressing how much he means to me but i love akutagawa ryunosuke so so fucking much my adoration for him only grows stronger every day.

not to be EMO but he was a huge factor in my mental health recovery so i developed a major emotional attachment and highkey unhealthy dependency on him so it really feels like he's been by my side forever. i can always turn to him when i'm sad, he's the most important person in my life even if he's just a fictional character because hes done more for me than anyone else did at some of my lowest points. i wouldn't trade him for the world.

i would write more but i don't feel like it it's 3am and im really tired

please don't ever genuinely bash him towards me. i'm the only one who's allowed to make fun of him

i got the username of my dreams on august 3rd, 2017 (@ryunosukeakutagawa) i don't use it for my main anymore bc nobody knows how to spell his long ass fucking name but whatever it's still mine and i'm never gonna trade it

Chapters:
3, 4, 8, 9, 11, 12, 14, 20, 21, 33, 34, 35, 36, 39, 41, 46, 49, 51, 51.5, 53

Episodes:
3, 6, 8, 9, 10, 11, 13,14, 18, 23, 24

MY COLLECTION OR WHATEVER:

this is a shrine in progress

ugh his impact...

i started bungou stray dogs while i was in a really bad place. a bad mindset, environment, and unhealthy habits to pass the time. i was hooked after the first episode and have been ever since because it makes me happier than anything else and i'm so grateful for my favorite character to be in the series that's the most important to me.

akutagawa wasn't my first favorite, in fact i don't even recall him existing until i read the manga. it was chapter 33. i said wow he's so sexy

after months, i decided that we stan.
here's why i love him so much:

first of all? he's so fucking stupid. i'm starting this off with a roast because he deserves it for being so dumb. he holds himself up to such high standards yet attempts to achieve his goals in the most reckless, impulsive, and thoughtless ways, then wonders why he's such a failure... why nothing works out in his favor... why do u think, akutagawa? huh? blind loyalty, idiot. dazai doesn't mean SHIT!

but seriously, his attitude and personality is very realistic to me, given his background. a lifetime of loss, abandonment, abuse, and manipulation can do that to a person. he was taught to stop using his ability to make pretty shapes and start using it to torture and kill. he was conditioned to believe that his ability was the only source of his strength and worth, and without it, he was nothing. i understand why he acts the way he does. he was a scared, confused kid that was taken advantage of for his ability. he makes me so sad...

i also love him for his looks. yeah he looks like a crackhead but i love that. i love how ugly and beautiful he is. the absolute fashion disaster. but i love his eyebrows. who cares if he doesn't have any? he would look WEIRD with eyebrows he rocks the no eyebrow look.

this is always gonna be a wip. i'll write more as i go along.

COUNTDOWN TO HIS BIRTHDAY

wishlist

wow look how beautiful he is

inhales
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I love him so fucking much it's insane. I hate that no one will ever know the full extent to how much I absolutely adore him because I'm not good with words so it seems like no amount of affection is enough for this amazing boy. he's the light of my life, my heart, my soul, my angel, my universe. my misunderstood antagonist that deserves all the love and kindness the world has to offer. He's so much more important to me because usually when I get obsessed with a character, it's only for less than a month or so and the only way I can express my love for them is through keyboard smashes and "this character is MINE" and nothing more but he's different.

he's nothing like any of my favs; i actually hate villains but he's different because he's one that i can understand and empathize with. he reminds me of myself in the way that we have a similar outlook on the world so it was easy for me to take a liking to him. all throughout season 1, i just felt pity towards him but after reading the dark era novel and the rest of the manga before season 2 started, he instantly became my #1 favorite and all that pity turned into sympathy Which is awesome because I have a hard time sympathizing with anyone in general. he has so much potential to grow as a character but sadly that's happening Very slowly because of a certain someone that keeps holding him back..... i hope he gets over his strength complex and realizes that he's more than his ability. i'm so proud of him regardless because i know that even if it never becomes canon, he has the potential to be a good person. by "potential" i don't mean "in my dreams" i mean he has a real chance at being good. if the only way for him to give his life meaning is to prove his strength to Dazai then I Guess I'm okay with that but i don't want it to be through fighting, i want him to find that strength in doing good by others. he doesn't need to kill to prove himself and I need him to realize that. he's honest and loyal to the people he respects but also has his own way of rebelling while also getting the job done he's so smart and amazing FUCK I love him. i really don't say this enough even though it's implied every day because if you were comparing it to how often I /think/ about him, then I don't express these thoughts enough.

some stupid things that make me happy is thinking about how he acts when he's not working. how he fucking. buys vegetables. and eats healthy. he probably cooks dinner for him and gin. when chuuya takes him and kajii out to eat, he acts like he doesn't even wanna be there but he enjoys spending time with them. he just doesn't know how to express it because he has no social skills.

I don't care if people hate akutagawa anymore he's so incredibly amazing I don't care that he's a bad person but I don't disregard the bad things he has done!! He has reasons for acting the way he does it was a result of his horrible childhood and being brutally beaten and abused by his fucking mentor for 4 years of course his morals are twisted he was just a KID how can anyone hold that against him?? He is such a beautiful person inside and out he has so much potential to turn his life around and do good by others

wish I could just die and go to anime heaven and marry akutagawa for real

my girlfriend asked me awhile ago (multiple times) why i like akutagawa and sometimes i just "??" for a sec lmao bc sometimes i Really don't know. i'm aware that he's not a uwu pure misunderstood smol bean, he's not a good person, he's boring in nature (looking at him from an irl perspective he's not someone i'd be friends with), and he's so fucking stupid sometimes. he doesn't think ANYTHING through no matter how dangerous the situation is but i really love that about him? that's something that makes him different from the rest of the port mafia.

he's loyal in a rebellious way and i love that. he's incredibly selfish and doesn't actually care much about anyone else. his serious demeanor is so fucking funny to me, i can't take him seriously because i remember that he goes grocery shopping, he cares about his health, he doesn't know the name of the white cravat he wears so he calls it a "frilly thing", he takes table tennis too seriously, he's afraid of being naked and bathing himself so chuuya had to help him, he thinks fun is unnecessary but his bitchy sarcasm and inability to understand jokes makes me laugh so much, he's insanely rich but doesn't flaunt it, he lives with his sister, and he once ate so much chocolate that he collapsed from lack of nutrition.

he's not as emotionless as people make him out to be, he's capable of bonding with people through shared experiences and i can relate to that. he was introduced to the series as a ruthless rabid dog that killed everyone that stood in his way and he's gone through so much development since then and still has infinite potential to do better for himself and realize that he doesn't need dazai's approval for people to recognize his strength.

i have so much more to say about him but i cant imagine anyone replacing him in the longrun. he means so much more to me than any words can describe. this whole ass essay is a huge understatement i wish he knew how much i appreciate all that hes done for me. i think hes the second most mischaracterized one in the series (dazai being the first) with being reduced to the "notice me senpai" trope but it doesnt bother me as much as it used to bc im glad i took the time to understand him. can you believe he's is the cutest thing that ever has and ever will and currently does exist

I can't imagine not being attached to akutagawa he's like.. the Main thing I associate myself with. one of the onlt few people i care about more than myself is akutagawa i'd drop everything and put all of his needs before my own and he isn't even real

I miss akutagawa so much it fucking hurts Bitch as much as I love all the other characters and the recognition they're getting I'm dying to see him again and would kill just for him to be in every new chapter from here on out even if he's just standing in the background of every panel doing nothing idc @asagiri hand him over.

my akutagawa hc's that I think about a lot:
he's bisexual
has dimples
easily flustered
clumsy
insomniac (semi-canon)
wears contacts. he's blind he can't fucking see
sucks at every sport
clammy hands
has anxiety
Has Emotions
lives with gin
smells like axe probably. which is gross
twiddles his thumbs/jiggles his leg/taps his foot
likes having his hair played with
doesn't understand puns ever
reads a lot

us CANONICALLY being lgbt icons

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AKUTAGAWA I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I'LL NEVER GIVE UP ON YOU I'LL NEVER REPLACE YOU NO MATTER WHAT I'M FOREVER GRATEFUL FOR EVERY SINGLE OUNCE OF JOY AND HEARTBREAK AND EXCITEMENT YOU'VE BROUGHT ME I LOVE YOU BIIITCH I AINT GON NEVER STOP LOVIN YOU BIIIIITCHH

( Made with Carrd )